Children's Crusade

Children’s Crusade

I do most of my recruiting at the arcade
Where they’re easy to pick out,
The ones who hang back from the others.
It looks like they’re just texting:
When in fact they’re on a whole nuther level.

I don’t waste time on
The fancy dressers, the tight jeans,
The cute kids who talk a good game.
The minute the chips are down
They’re on the phone to mom and dad.

I like the loners, the ones
Who think for themselves.
Harder to convince because they
Ask so many questions; recruiting them
Can drag on for days.

But if you’re patient,
Willing to put in the effort,
They’ll stick around, even contribute,
Turning tricks no one could have
Expected or even predicted.

They don’t complain when you
Lock them down in a cramped trailer
Somewhere in bumfuck America.
In fact they’ll amaze you with
Some of the shit they cook up.

You can turn them loose in town
And they won’t run amok
Shoplifting and bating the locals.
Most likely they’ll just hang and be
Waiting for you to pick them up again.

So focused and in control,
No waiting around for you to explain:
I’ve never had a client complain.
They’ll try anything and keep at it
Until they’ve got it down.

No hesitation, no preconceived notions
To get in the way, no crises of
Conscience or qualms to distract them.
Their objective is to win at all costs
With no regard for truth or consequences.

Which is why the DOD pays
Top dollar to get their underage
Asses in their control room chairs.
And it’s up to us to find the
Most ruthless and relentless.

It’s easier than getting them to join
A cult or sign on a trip to the Holy Land.
I don’t envy those guys in Africa
Who hafta use drugs and torture and
Teach them everything from scratch.

These kids come preconditioned
To bring death and destruction
On the unsuspecting half a world away,
Earning their scholarships the easy way,
Exempt from hazard pay.